Aug 20

Bum Comfortably Numb in Clones

Talking Balls Comments

FROM THE ARCHIVES

Championship essentials

From June 2007 No-one can go to a match without using the toilet facilities, whether it be the wall behind the main building at Omagh St Enda’s or the luxury crappers in Croker. We were literally moved to write after an unexpected surprise in Clones.

One of Talking Balls associates took his life and god knows what else in his hands when he visited the bog at the Pat McGrane stand side in Clones this weekend past.

After a heavy night on the Guinness at an undisclosed location, it was inevitable there would be repercussions. Percussion in deed was reported by ear witnesses, but the most surprising aspect of the whole visit was the resounding thumbs-up the Clones facility received on our man’s return to his seat. The seating in the convenience was cheek friendly, the door had a lock and the deal clincher then – the presence of bog roll. So, a visit that could have been a real hovering buttock clencher turned into a user-friendly experience. “A good place to be,” as Mickey Harte might say. “Yes, the only part of Clones that isn’t crap,” added the office WAG here.

If you’ve been suffering from Championship nerves and had to make a visit, let Talking Balls know – we want to hear if it needed fumigation or a forensic lock down after you left, or if you emerged smelling of Roses like a player leaving a DRA hearing. If we know what grounds provide foetid, rank dungeons, it’ll make planning the summer a lot easier – especially for Talking Balls’ female reporters.