Tattoo’d Ladies and Gentlemen

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The arm tattoo says in Sanskrit: "I've played shite in the World cup."
One other thing the soccer world cup has highlighted is the increasing prevalence among overpaid professional soccer players of tattoos, especially along their arms. It used to be that tattoos were the preserve of squaddies, the only tattoo you would ever see would belong to the guy peering in your car window asking you where you were coming from and where you were going to.

Now it seems you can’t get paid for kicking a ball without getting your body adorned with tattoos and god knows what other armour these fellas are packing. I suppose if you get paid all of that money it’s no great hardship to sit in a tattoo artist’s place all afternoon getting the work done. Well it’s either that, go shopping or shag the left back’s missus isn’t it?

The trendiest item seems to be the writing down the inside of the forearm. Typically players will forever remember the name of their beloved by having her name inscribed there. Just in case it might be too easy to remember, the best thing to do is get it written in some obscure language,  you know the sort Mel Gibson would use in one of his films.

The obvious hazard is making sure your girlfriend/boyfriend’s name is spelled properly of course. Super thick Brit David Beckham had his wife Victoria’s name translated into Hindi and apparently experts say it is spelt incorrectly. That assumes that Dave gave them the correct English spelling in the first place doesn’t it? It also makes you think, why would you tattoo your girlfriend’s name in another language if you want to remember her.

This is a craze that has yet to catch on in the GAA. Players that we know have tattoos are Owen Mulligan, Paul Galvin and Dan Shanahan. Dan’s ‘If You Don’t Know Me, Don’t Judge Me’ is fairly well known. Rumours are that Paul is getting the dates of all his suspensions put onto his body for posterity.

We haven’t seen players put the girlfriend’s name on the forearm yet. . . the likes of Philomena, Rosaleen, or indeed boyfriend’s. . .  Donal, Finbarr, Bomber. . .

A fair number of camogs have tattoos on the base of their spine/top of their arse we are told. These are normally made available for public viewing either when they land in a heap of shite on the pitch and the whole show rides up their back. Or at about three in the morning when the jaegerbombs are kicking in the fleshy parts start to make an appearance. One well known camog has a tattoo in a secret place that says in Arabic – I love performing at Croke Park.

We’re all for that. In the meantime, if this is a route you wish to pursue, set your spell checker for the appropriate language,

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