Exclusive World Cup Prediction: Anyone But France
Talking Balls Comments
Although Zidane declined to say at the time what had gone on, a team of expert lip readers from Talking Balls were able to decipher some of the foul mouthed tirade from Materazzi that led to one of the greats of the game ending his career in ignominy. We were able to pick out the phrases ‘You’re shite [undecipherable comment] yer ma. [undecipherable comment] yer sister you baldy [undecipherable comment].
As Zidane buried his head in Materazzi’s chest we can reveal he roared: ‘Your tattoos look like shite you f***in Everton reject.’
Readers will recall that the sporting world was aghast at the time at Zidane’s actions. I some quarters he was hailed as the ultimate family man for sticking up for his sister and mother and pilloried in others as some sort of pure bollix who let himself down badly in the Championship.
He toul Talking Balls with the help of a translator: “I often go on holiday in the North of Ireland and I go to ze club matches there wearing a hoodie and a false ginger wig and beard so no-one recognises me. The goings on at Irish hand football games make Materazzi’s comments like that of an innocent child. One time I was asked to play a reserve game in Donegal. I liked it very much and I although I couldn’t understand what the little fellow was saying he had a crazed look in his eye and he muttered a lot. This mutterazzi reminded me of Materazzi.”
He went on to sympathise with the Irish nation over its grievous treatment at the hand of Thierry Henry.
“I would have expected it from some of the other players, indeed other countries. . . in fact anyone but Thierry Henry, and anyone but France.”
Funnily enough, an entire nation agrees.
