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Give someone the Red Button from the safety of your own sofa!

They are poised to introduce a new interactive feature to their programmes in a bid to regain some of the viewers they lost when the British wing went tits up last year. The new feature will allow all viewers sitting on their arses in the comfort of their own homes to use the coloured buttons on the Sky remote to enter a specially designed interactive menu. Once in there they will be able to nominate specific players and incidents for further examination and if necessary citing by the in studio ‘resident expert’. Then in the studio in real time, the likes of Colman Coggins, Eugene McGee or whatever other gobshite is on hand, can dissect the action and look for potential infringements that the referee missed even though he is only human.

Each week, one lucky viewer will be selected at random to join the experts in the studio to press the red button to red card a player of their choice. To ensure the players do not rear up and tell Setanta to go and f**k themselves, there will be a points system wheerbey the player committing the most infringements and attracting the most disciplinary appropium will qualify for a holiday at La Manga to be taken during a suspension of their choice.

Talking Balls has learned that the innovative and exciting feature will be marketed to its customers and the broader GAA public as Setanta Close Circuit Citing or Setanta CCC for short.

A spokesman for the broadcaster said: “We need to make Winter football more interesting. People are used voting for things on a Saturday night whether it’s the X Factor, Strictly Come Dancing or Red Hot Raw – all these programmes have got folks into the way of pressing the button to vote and greater interactivity is the way forward.”

Setanta is also looking at technologies that will allow the armchair view to vote on which players should be subbed, who should take the frees and a whole raft of other tactical features that the supporter at home knows nothing about but that doesn’t stop them airing their opinion.

Tyrone manager Mickey Harte wasn’t asked for a comment, but we know what it would have been.

No players were harmed in the writing of this feature.