Are Professional Soccer Players Overpaid Hornballs with no Morals
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Everytime we hear of the latest ’scandal’ dogging English soccer we raise our head skywards, gaze into the clouds and praise and give thanks for the GAA.
That’s not to say that our beloved players aren’t fond of a bit but at least we don’t have to put up with endless nonsense about the Leitrim captain running off with the fullback’s wife or the Cork keeper eyeing up one of the opposition’s forwards with a view to asking them out. That’s not to say that sort of thing doesn’t go on. I’m sure most of our intercounty players have perfectly enjoyable and normal sex lives, they might; some may not and I’m pretty confident that some of the miserable bastards definitely don’t (mentioning no names) judging by their typical demeanor, but that’s to be praised and given thanks for, not demeaned.
What’s a bit worrying is that half of our club Under 8 team run about with Chelsea soccer jerseys on, idolising these overpaid morons who get paid a Klondyke every week and have no class or morals whatsoever.
You can hear the question at the dinner table: “Dad, why is John Terry not going to be England captain in the World Cup. Is it because he slipped and missed that penalty in the Champions League final?”
The oul boy’s thinking “No son, it’s because he slipped another one in with that chancy underwear yoke. . .” but he has to reply “Eat up your pasta son, there’s an indoor hurling blitz this evening and you need to focus on your game.”
The chancy French underwear model appears to have had more Chelsea players than she’s had hot dinners if you take even cursory notice of the British red tops. They suggest the level of morality amongst the soccer fraternity is non existent – and if the more lurid accounts are to be believed they get about like rabbits on viagra. Certainly adds new meaning to the idea of the box to box player. What would Bobby Moore say I ask you?
But yer man Terry seems a boorish f***er in every way. He offended Americans by his behaviour at Heathrow at the time of 9/11; he pissed into a pint glass in the middle of some night club and he’s already been the subject of a tabloid exposé for what he gets up to in his Landrover with another lady that’s not his wife. Off road driving we might call it. That’s only the tip of the iceberg.
Thank god then for the GAA players we have who get drunk and talk shite about football all night, or the extremists like McGeeney and Cusack whose idea of a mad night out is a trip to a matinee showing in the cinema followed by a feed of egg yolk omelette, wheatgrass smoothie and a quick protein shake.
As for Terry? He wouldn’t last ten minutes in the GAA and that’s a fact.
So the answer to our original question is, Yes!
