Gaelic Games to Be Banned in the North – Nelson

Talking Balls Comments

Nelson - GAA supporter of the year or clane bollix?
Nelson - GAA supporter of the year or clane bollix?
THE NORTH’S Minister for Culture, Arts and Sport (known in his native made up Ulster Scots tongue as Thon bigoted Big Heeder frae Makin a Clane Ballicks of hisself with his Shitetalkin an’ Hamesin abiit Alliver the Shop, the Hoor) seems set to rile a few GAA feathers if such a metaphor can be mixed.

Nelson has long had a bee in his sporran about the naming of GAA Clubs and Grounds after Irish Patriots, or as he would have them Republican Terrorists. Using the camouflage of revising the North’s equality opportunity for sport and funding blah blah he said:

“What I have asked my officials to do is talk with Sport NI and look at the equality statement all applicants for funding are required to sign and see if we can come to a situation where we do not have commemorations or celebrations of terrorism in sports grounds.”

No longer then can we expect to hear the dulcet tones of ‘We’re up to our Neck in Fenian Blood’ or ‘Two popes gone, the Queen lives on, F*** the IRA,’ when we’re up at that bastion, nay, citadel of tolerance and equality and fraternity – Windsor Park.

Nelson nearly blew his own column when he heard there was a H-Block commemoration at Galbally pitch, hence his latest smokescreenery to ban gaelic games by another means. This is the sort of mentality that has numerous towns in ‘Ullsterrr’ awash with soccer and rugby pitches with not a council-run gaelic field in sight.

Funnily enough Talking Balls was out promenading with non-other than Gregory Campbell who was fairly sanguine about the whole deal. ‘In ten years,’ he informed our man, ‘people will have forgotten about the hunger strikes.’ ‘Aye,’ replied our boy, ‘the same way people round these parts have forgotten 1690, the Apprentice Boys and the Siege of Derry.”

So if you’re one of the GAA clubs in the North that probably wouldn’t have got any money in the current climate, you definitely won’t be getting it now if the halfwit Nelson has his way.

Bigotry, For God and Ulster. Wouldn’t have it any other way.