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Armagh’s preparations for Sunday week’s Championship opener received a setback when training last night was cancelled due to an outbreak of what has been described as ‘Lurgan Belly’. Concerns arose after a number of players were bog-bound after a weekend training camp. It is not known if rogue Tyrone elements were responsible for sabotaging the Armagh team’s food at the top secret location and maybe lobbed a bit of rancid sausage into the egg white omelette and boiled chicken so beloved of Armagh.

It is not unheard of for one team to disrupt another’s big match preparations, the All Black Rugby team complained of food poisoning ahead of their World Cup Final in South Africa. There were allegations that their hosts had introduced some rancid springbok into the stew or whatever it was the Kiwis were eating.

Armagh officials are also investigating reports that the bout of illness could have been caused by swine flu brought across the border from the Free State into South Armagh in a batch of smuggled pigs. As a result of the outbreak, team manager Peter McDonnell also cancelled his post training press conference. Maybe he felt there was enough shite-talk.

As Tyrone writer Brian Friel famously wrote: “Anchored by the ass, bound by the bowels and tethered to the toilet. Tragic.”

We’ll see what happens then when the shit hits the fan on Sunday week in Clones.