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Tyrone delegates to Congress will not be impressed by the administrative sleight of hand that saw their motion to abolish the International Rules kicked for touch.

As is usual within the GAA, where it is most unusual to call a spade a spade, much rather a handheld implement with a long shaft that can be used for earth removal and other purposes, Tyrone’s motion stated that ‘our players should not be playing against players who are paid or professional.’

All this instead of just coming out with it and saying “these International Rules are a load of oul balls, there’s fellas getting written off on the field against these rough Aussie hoors and far from doing anything about it we’re actually encouraging them,” the motion tried to rule the games out of order on the amateur v professional slant detailed above.

You can just imagine the whoopin’ high five-in and kehoeing that went on when the PTB discovered they could bate the motion on a matter of pedantry as follows: Nicky Brennan was fit to state that no player gets paid for participation in the series and that, while the Australian team is a professional entity, they only ever received expenses for their participation.

Yep, when retentive meets retentive whatta ye get? A lot of shite.

Game set and match to an Uachtaran agus his amigos. Tyrone may play total football but they were badly out of their depth – these guys play an expansive total administrative game with every man comfortable on the ball!

The Powers That Be had a bit of a coup with the news that that the proceedings of this year’s Congress would be streamed live on the RTE website. It is understood an intense and highly fractious bidding war for the rights did not take place.

Whilst the GAA continue to deliberate on the future direction of their own website (Talking Balls is led to believe a number of organisations had the opportunity to present their ideas in recent weeks), national broadcaster RTE stepped up and licked the plate. Pat Kenny was reportedly gutted he didn’t get to present the webcast, but more of that elsewhere.

The news offered hope to thousands of insomniacs worldwide that have been waiting for years for a cure for their sleepless nights. Nothing better to cure that than listen to some oul bollix from the midlands drone on about the merits of the new disciplinary system. Likewise the opportunity to listen to Frank Murphy live online is one not to be missed.

The upside (yes there is one!) GAA members nationwide, indeed globally, can keep a beady eye out for the delegates to make sure they actually attended Congress rather than heading off for a day’s fishing, golfing or visiting the local pole dancing club.

EMMA Mullen was Mayo’s scoring ace with 3-3 as the Westerners advanced to meet holders Cork in the final of the 2009 Bord Gáis Energy Ladies National Football League.

Player of the match Mullen put Laois to the sword at Aughamore as the home side overturned a 1-5 to 0-9 half-time deficit to win by six points.

Mullen’s first goal, after 18 minutes, was a crucial score to keep Mayo in touch during the opening half.

The Connacht outfit trailed by 0-6 to 0-1 before Mullen struck for the first goal of her hat-trick.
Laois had played with the wind advantage in the first half but their best spell was just after half-time and the O’Moore County held the lead until Mullen goaled again 13 minutes from the end.
Mullen’s hat-trick arrived soon after to finally settle a physical game and Laois finished the game with 14 men when Martha Kirwan was sent off with five minutes remaining.

Meanwhile, defending champions Cork produced a powerful second half display against Dublin in Thurles on Saturday to book their place in the showpiece final. The reigning League, Munster and All-Ireland champions ran riot after half-time against outclassed Leinster kingpins Dublin at Semple Stadium, running out 4-11 to 0-8 winners.

Rhona Buckley bagged 2-3 for the Rebelettes but the player of the match award went to corner forward Deirdre O’Reilly, who chipped in with 1-1.

At half-time, Cork led by 1-6 to 0-7 before outscoring their shellshocked opponents by 3-5 to 0-1 in the second half to record a 15-point win.

O’Reilly netted Cork’s first half goal after 17 minutes, a deflected effort at the Town End, while Dublin goalkeeper Clíodhna O’Connor did well to keep out two other goalbound efforts. Five unanswered points after half-time sent Cork 1-11 to 0-7 clear and into the comfort zone before the floodgates opened with Buckley (53) and Valerie Mulcahy (55) adding quickfire goals.

In stoppage time, Buckley put the icing on the Cork cake when she lashed home a stunning goal from 18 metres past O’Connor.

The Division 2 final will be contested by last year’s All-Ireland intermediate champions Tipperary and Down.

Tipperary defeated Waterford by 3-12 to 1-8 in Bansha with the help of goals from Gillian O’Brien, Angie McDermott and substitute Cliona O’Dwyer.

Meanwhile, Down ran out 4-10 to 3-7 winners in their semi-final against Sligo. Dual star Fionnuala Carr, captain of Down’s camogie team and daughter of county senior football manager Ross, excelled for the Mourne County as Kyla Trainor (two), Michaela Downey and Orla Fagan supplied the goals.

Elsewhere, Wicklow needed extra-time before seeing off hosts Limerick to qualify for the Division 3 decider on a 1-14 to 1-9 scoreline.

The other semi final between Derry and Roscommon was postponed due to a bereavement in the Derry camp.

***

Bord Gáis Energy NFL Division 1 semi-final results:

Mayo 3-10 Laois 0-13.

Cork 4-11 Dublin 0-8 (Note: Played on Saturday).

Bord Gáis Energy NFL Division 2 semi-final results:

Down 4-10 Sligo 3-7.

Tipperary 3-12 Waterford 1-8.

Bord Gáis Energy National Ladies Football League Division 3 semi-final result
Limerick 1-9, Wicklow 1-14 (after extra time).

Roscommon v Derry – OFF.

***

Bord Gáis Energy Ladies National Football League Division 1 semi-final scorers:

Mayo scorers: E Mullan 3-3, C Staunton 0-5, L Cafferky 0-2.

Laois scorers: Mary Kirwan 0-5, N Kirwan 0-3, M Dunne 0-2, A O’Loughlin, A Quigley & Martha Kirwan 0-1 each.

***
Cork scorers: R Buckley 2-3, V Mulcahy 1-2 (0-2f), D O’Reilly 1-1, B Corkery, M O’Connor, C O’Sullivan, J Murphy (f) & N Cleary (f) 0-1 each.

Dublin scorers: S Aherne 0-3 (2f), A-Marie Murphy 0-2, N McEvoy, M Nevin & N Hurley 0-1 each.

EIMEAR MCDONNELL made a sensational return as Tipperary powered their way to the Division One National League final at Semple Stadium yesterday. The former All Star who took a year out fired 2-6, all from play, totally outclassing defending champions Kilkenny on a hefty scoreline of 2-19 to 0-13 whilst qualifying for the final against Wexford next Saturday.

Along with McDonnell, this curtain-raiser to the NHL tie between Tipperary and Limerick also saw the return of Una O’Dwyer, Suzanne Kelly and Paula Bulfin to the Blue and Gold jersey. The home side led 1-11 to 0-5 at the break, and the Premier side were grateful to Clare Grogan’s accuracy from placed balls (0-9) along with McDonnell’s opening goal which arrived a couple of minutes before the interval.

McDonnell, who lined out in her customary left corner forward position admitted to being nervous prior to throw-in.

“When your first match back is in Semple Stadium and it is against League champions Kilkenny, there aren’t too many places to hide,” she joked.

“I was a bit anxious as I hadn’t played in over 12 months, but I would have to commend the players around me. When you get good ball, you are half way there.”

Interestingly, McDonnell credited the pristine surface for the high-scoring encounter.

“Semple Stadium is one of the best surfaces in Ireland. You can read the bounce of the ball, and away you go. In camogie we wouldn’t be used to playing in the bigger stadiums or on such perfect conditions, and sometimes it is impossible to read the play with the sliotar bouncing here, there and everywhere. Today was different, the sun was shining and it was perfect for camogie.”

Tipperary were without selector James Woodlock who was involved with the Tipperary hurlers, yet they showed tremendous form all over the park. O’Dwyer – who would be better known as a full back – played outside McDonnell at wing forward, while Emily Hayden, Joanne Ryan and skipper Geraldine Kinnane were others to stand out in attack.

With Julie McGrath in fine form at midfield, the game was well and truly ended when McDonnell’s second goal was drilled to the net four minutes inside the restart. Kilkenny, who were warm favourites coming into this game, relied on captain Ann Dalton for 11 of their tally.

IT WAS a good day for the Carr family yesterday with Dad Ross guiding Down to a narrow two-point National League Division Three football win over Roscommon at Hyde Park, while his daughters Sara Louise and Fionnuala made history with the Mourne County taking the National League Division Three Camogie title with only the minimum to spare over Laois, 0-15 to 2-8 following a tense contest at Donaghmore Ashbourne.

This was a first-class performance by the Northern ladies who will move up to Division Two in 2010. There was a mix-up with the scoreboard in the final quarter, but both teams agreed with referee Joe Kennedy’s tally following a nail-biting finish.

Down, after playing with the wind in the opening half held a 0-7 to 1-1 lead at the changeover, but with Laois emerging strong in the second half they had their work cut out. The Laois goal from Sarah Cuddy put her team in a formidable position at the break.

However, Catherine McGourty brought her A-game, chipping in with a massive 11 points tally (four from play), and with centre back Lisa McCrickard and full back Fionnuala Carr rock solid, they withstood the pressure when the O’Moore County rallied with a second green flag from Sarah Ann Fitzgerald.After the game, Down manager Joe Baldwin said: “Catherine was outstanding today, she has been very committed this season and it’s nice to see her getting rewarded for her dedication.”

“It’s great to win, we haven’t had any silverware in a while. We’ve got a lot of new players on the team and a lot of young players so it’s great for them,” said Mairin MacAleenan.

Baldwin hopes that his sides win will inspire them to greater things, “Hopefully we can use this as a stepping stone for the Championship. We know that we still have a lot to do and a few things to work on but we’re delighted with the win,” he said.

Only one game was played in Division 2 on Saturday, as Clare could not field against Derry meaning the Oak Leaf girls picked up another two points. One senior Derry player described the league as ‘a joke’ as Derry have completed their programme having secured five points, but only played two games – one a draw with Antrim in atrocious conditions and the other a defeat to Tipperary.. Hardly the stuff of championship preparation.

Antrim had a comfortable win over Tipperary which ensures them at least a place in the play-offs. Captain Jane Adams scored nine points – three of them from play. Emma and Grace McMullan were both impressive once again scoring three and two points respectively.

Meanwhile, Kildare won promotion to Division Three following their 3-7 to 1-10 Division Four victory over Westmeath in the curtain-raiser also at Donaghmore Ashbourne.

President Joan O’Flynn had to contend with her big match day nerves before presenting her first trophy of the year to her adopted county. Westmeath came into the decider with a win over the Lilywhites earlier in the league, but in a keen contest, Kildare managed to hold out for their three point triumph despite intense pressure in the closing 10 minutes.

Kildare got off the mark with three first half goals that yielded them a 3-4 to 0-4 interval lead. The impressive Susie O’Carroll at wing forward, Ciara Tallon and Cliona McSweeney, they all found the target in the 2nd, 15th and 25th minute. While the forward line was on target up front, the Kildare defence was staunch, in particular the experienced Melanie and Reitin Treacy and Niamh Breen in the corner.

However, a goal from Joanne Walsh six minutes after the restart put Westmeath right back in contention and with Dinagh Loughlin in fine point scoring form the Lake County set about reducing the margin.

O’Carroll scored Kildare’s final point on 50 minutes, and for the remainder of the game goalkeeper Tanya Johnson and her rearguard had to withstand huge pressure as Westmeath closed the gap to three. But, Kildare held out for the trophy in a tight finish.

IT WAS a good day for the Carr family yesterday with Dad Ross guiding Down to a narrow two-point National League Division Three football win over Roscommon at Hyde Park, while his daughters Sara Louise and Fionnuala made history with the Mourne County taking the National League Division Three Camogie title with only the minimum to spare over Laois, 0-15 to 2-8 following a tense contest at Donaghmore Ashbourne.

This was a first-class performance by the Northern ladies who will move up to Division Two in 2010. There was a mix-up with the scoreboard in the final quarter, but both teams agreed with referee Joe Kennedy’s tally following a nail-biting finish.

Down, after playing with the wind in the opening half held a 0-7 to 1-1 lead at the changeover, but with Laois emerging strong in the second half they had their work cut out. The Laois goal from Sarah Cuddy put her team in a formidable position at the break.

However, Catherine McGourty brought her A-game, chipping in with a massive 11 points tally (four from play), and with centre back Lisa McCrickard and full back Fionnuala Carr rock solid, they withstood the pressure when the O’Moore County rallied with a second green flag from Sarah Ann Fitzgerald.

Meanwhile, Kildare won promotion to Division Three following their 3-7 to 1-10 Division Four victory over Westmeath in the curtain-raiser also at Donaghmore Ashbourne.

President Joan O’Flynn had to contend with her big match day nerves before presenting her first trophy of the year to her adopted county. Westmeath came into the decider with a win over the Lilywhites earlier in the league, but in a keen contest, Kildare managed to hold out for their three point triumph despite intense pressure in the closing 10 minutes.

Kildare got off the mark with three first half goals that yielded them a 3-4 to 0-4 interval lead. The impressive Susie O’Carroll at wing forward, Ciara Tallon and Cliona McSweeney, they all found the target in the 2nd, 15th and 25th minute. While the forward line was on target up front, the Kildare defence was staunch, in particular the experienced Melanie and Reitin Treacy and Niamh Breen in the corner.

However, a goal from Joanne Walsh six minutes after the restart put Westmeath right back in contention and with Dinagh Loughlin in fine point scoring form the Lake County set about reducing the margin.

O’Carroll scored Kildare’s final point on 50 minutes, and for the remainder of the game goalkeeper Tanya Johnson and her rearguard had to withstand huge pressure as Westmeath closed the gap to three. But, Kildare held out for the trophy in a tight finish.

DIVISION THREE NATIONAL LEAGUE FINAL
LAOIS V DOWN (Donaghmore Ashbourne, Sunday, 3.15pm)

With The Harps achieving an incredible hat-trick of All Ireland junior club wins last season, there will be incentive for Laois to add a National title at county level. They were beaten by the narrowest of margins in the penultimate stages of the league and the All Ireland junior championship last year.

When these sides met in the group stages a couple of weeks ago, the Midlanders came out on top, albeit by the minimum. So, no doubt, revenge will be on the mind of the Down ladies.

DIVISION FOUR NATIONAL LEAGUE FINAL
KILDARE V WESTMEATH (Donaghmore Ashbourne, Sunday 1.30pm)

A close contest is expected here. Kildare qualified for the final courtesy of their hard-fought win over Tyrone on Sunday and they will be hoping to turn the tables on an earlier two-goal league defeat to Westmeath in February.

Westmeath won Division Three in 2007, so are anxious to move back up the ranks. And selecting from a full compliment should strengthen their hand. Both teams are rebuilding. However, a mix of experience and youth should make for an interesting encounter.

Also, the following matches have been set for Saturday to ensure the girls can get the Easter Sunday roast dinner ready for their menfolk in good time for them to get to the national league fudball games.

SAT 11 APRIL
NATIONAL LEAGUE DIV 2
Antrim -v- Tipperary, Fingallians, Swords, 1.30pm Ref: Frank McDonald, Armagh
Clare -v- Derry, Fingallians, Swords, 3.15pm Ref: TBA

U16A CHAMPIONSHIP
Dublin -v- Cork, Dublin Venue TBA Ref: Julie O’Neill, Armagh
Galway -v- Clare, Ardrahan, 2pm Ref: Úna Kearney, Armagh

U16B CHAMPIONSHIP
Wexford -v- Meath, Farmleigh, Enniscorthy, 2pm Ref: Éamonn Mansfield, Kilkenny
Offaly -v- Armagh, Mount Bolous, 1pm Ref: Paul Beecher, Dublin

U16C CHAMPIONSHIP
Westmeath -v- Tyrone OFF
Mayo -v- Roscommon, Tooreen, 1pm Ref: Rita Coen, Galway

SUN 12 APRIL
NATIONAL LEAGUE DIV 3 FINAL
Laois -v- Down, Donaghmore Ashbourne, 3.15pm Ref: Joe Kennedy, Louth

NATIONAL LEAGUE DIV 4 FINAL
Kildare -v- Westmeath, Donaghmore Ashbourne, 1.30pm Ref: Donal Ryan, Dublin

All GAA players are equal and some are more equal than others. We all know that, or do we?

But for an accident of birth you could be a Wexford senior hurler or footballer, proud to play for your county. But due to the times we live in your warm weather training break will take place in Waterford rather than Portugal which is where management wanted to go.

Not so if you are part of the Continuity Cork panel, no longer required now that the strike is over for another year. But all is not lost, if you are one of these lucky former-players, you can look forward to a week’s warm weather training in the La Manga club in Spain. Training for what? you may ask dear reader. We know not the answer, but these players complete with Gerald McCarthy and up to ten mentors will spend Holy Week in Spain. Penance at the end of Lent for previous sins perhaps?

However, Cork County Board chairman Jerry O’Sullivan has defended the move to send former boss Gerald McCarthy et al to Spain. He said: “A lot of counties are going down the road of training camps abroad and we have done it in Cork on a number of occasions in the past.

“People have to remember that the strike was only resolved two weeks ago. The lads that are going on the training camp were the league panel until that time.

“These things can’t be organised overnight, or even a few days in advance. A lot of planning has to go into something like this, and it wasn’t possible to change the arrangements at such short notice.”

Anyway, it means that there’s a full squad of almost senior county players ready at a moment’s notice should Denis Walsh forget the sliotars or bring the wrong coloured bibs to training. After Sunday’s abject arse-kicking from Kilkenny in Nowlan Park, don’t rule it out. Cork hurling – don’t you just love it.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTFFhJ60CPA[/youtube]Exclusive footage has shown up on the popular self-publicist website YouTube featuring non-other than the GAA’s fittest former goalkeeper, Benny Tierney.

Benny, who now makes a comfortable living on the after dinner circuit making jokes about his wife, his mother-in-law, Joe Kernan, Kieran McGeeney and everyone else to whom he should be grateful, is revealed in a most unusual role – that of goalkeeping coach.

Talking Balls understand that the twelve coaching clips , each between a minute and a half and three minutes in length, were recorded across a ten month period – the time duration apparently so as to allow Benny sufficient recovery time from his exertions. Viewers will not be surprised to see the garrulous goalie out of breath as he walks and talks his way through each session. Benny is a firm believer in the one in four coaching rule: that is out of every four minutes coaching, the players should listen to the coach for three minutes and do the drill in the remainder of the time.

Viewers will also notice how he frequently assures the watching would-be-Bennies that these drills ‘will get you tired.’

However, Talking Balls has it from a reliable source that Benny’s preferred means of coaching keepers is to have them round to the house to watch his collection of videos. His own performances are a special favourite, not least a football one of the 2002 All Ireland final. Ever-hospitable Benny, the guests are welcome to help themselves to popcorn, Doritos, Coke and that beloved South Armagh delicacy, diesel boiled cauliflower.