Late Late No Show – RTE Make A Pig’s Arse of It
Talking Balls Comments
And as for the panellists? When the camera panned the audience Talking Balls thought, ‘aw shite, if this is the audience, who’s gonna be on the stage?’ We didn’t have to wait long. First up those well known GAA stalwarts Eamon Dunphy and Bertie Ahern. Dunphy sat there trying to justify his existence – culminating in some shite about being humbled to be in the room with the greatest people in the world. As for the former Taoiseach – for the love of Jazes!
He revealed he was used to getting freebies from an early age, his brother Maurice lifted him over the stiles at Croker ‘Couldn’t afford to pay eh eh’ giggled the Bert. Big surprise there, they get it with the mother’s milk these boys.
‘A lot of people won’t be able to afford to pay in the next year either’, chortled Pat Kenny – a singularly crass remark in the week 1900 jobs were lost in Limerick. ‘Ho ho’ enjoined Bertie his big over-foundationed face saying what we all know: ‘I’ll be alrite, Pat.’
Bertie told us matter of factly that he didn’t make it to the 60/61 final but he made it to the Down Dublin final which had over 70,000 at it. According to Bertie that is. Obviously his memory of the GAA is as reliable as his memory of other things in the past. Down of course never played Dublin in an All Ireland Final in the sixties. Bertie was non-plussed and drove her on: ‘I remember everything from about 60 on.’
Pat Kenny’s crassometer was obviously running low so he hit Mickey Harte with a comment about his ‘own Ronaldo stunt’ a reference to Harte’s car accident late last year. Mickey looked about as amused as if he’d just been told Sean Cav was signing for Aussie Rules after all. This just after Kenny stuck a picture of Dooher lifting Sam under Dara O’Se’s nose. Now Talking Balls has seen Dara stretch a fella on the pitch for less… Please O’Se, hit him, we roared at the telly.
Things had been bad enough up to then, but then RTE hit us with their coup de grace. Brush Shiels. Sitting there grinning like the banjo player from Deliverance, resplendent in a ridiculous leather jacket emblazoned with Ireland that he must have bought from NoTaste.com. He was woeful. Someone should have told Pat Kenny that there is more to the GAA than Dublin in the fifties, and Dublin in the sixties, and how great it was living close to Croke Park, and that Dublin and Kerry were rivals but that was thirty years ago. What can you say about Shiels performance of the ‘Fields of Athenry?’ He buck lept about the place – if I’d been near him I’d a driven the butt of hurl so far into his ribs… What the significance was to the GAA? God Alone Knows.
And so it went on. Eileen Dunne, never misses an All Ireland. Yawn Yawn. Neither does an oul lad down our lane, wears a tweed jacket, peaked cap and houlds his trousers up with a bit of twine – he’d have been more craic than yon one. Pat Spillane? Ireland’s second least popular presenter after Dunphy.
Babs Keating was one of the few hurling people about the place – he made an important reference to the GAA in the North during the Troubles but when Peter Quinn made the same point he was unceremoniously cut off by Kenny who obviously didn’t want a bit of reality to break through the leprechaunery and forty shades of green. Nickey Brennan? Word to the wise: ‘too much make-up Nickey – you looked like the Widow Twankey.’
It was risible. At least Des Cahill made an attempt to talk for the real Association – in fact had Cahill presented the show it may have been watchable. Where was the talk of the ban, the arguments over Croke Park, the pay for play and the GPA; the great role of the club, the cultural elements – so many overlooked. Scor got one mention at the end which led to Ulster firebrand Micheal Greenan calling the show ‘an affront’ and ‘a scandal’. Michael Greenan v Pat Kenny – now that would be a Celebrity Deathmatch I’d pay to see. Even Greenan on the panel would have made better television. Sean Kelly mightn’t have been too comfortable sitting in the front row right nuff.
So then RTE, from Talking Balls and from our readers you get Nil Point. Opportunity missed. Next?
