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According to recent research carried out by Lucozade Sport, GAA players sweat more than them overpaid fancy dan poseurs in soccer. GAA players lose a dripping great 1.25 litres of sweat per match whereas the nancy-poofter-boys of soccer only lose a pathetic 1.1 litre.

And GAA men beat soccer hands down in the amount of liquid they consume at training. GAA players guzzled up to three litres of fluid whilst training, with a mean fluid intake during a training session of 760 ml. Professional soccer players have been reported to consume a measly 303ml to 971ml.

The survey also revealed that 25% of players reporting to GAA training were already in a dehydrated state. The research did not include data taken from Tyrone or Kerry players following the recent All Ireland Final.

The research suggests that more than one quarter of all GAA players did not consume adequate fluids in the period leading up to training. In each squad tested, the range of dehydrated players varied from 10% to 33% suggesting some players take to the water like ducks, whilst others duck it altogether.

84.4%, or 211 of 250 players tested, experienced some degree of dehydration and loss in body mass during training itself. However, 98.8% of players managed to maintain adequate hydration status during the training session indicating that the majority of players voluntarily drink adequate fluids to replace sweat losses. We are interested to know who the 39 lazy hoors that experienced no dehydration. Were these fellas like disinterested U-12s sent out by their da’s to play, interested more in picking flowers and leisurely booting the ball the road they were facing?

Talking Balls can also verify that in its own research study conducted over the weekend of 20/21/22 September, Lucozade Sport was proven when tested as an effective hangover cure. Many thanks to Lucozade Sport and Wilson Hartnell Public Relations for their kind sponsorship of Talking Balls research study. Please note: No animals were harmed during the course of this research.

The theme of the day will be “Camogie Connecting Communities.” Ossie Kilkenny, Chairperson of the Irish Sports Council and one of the best known Irish businessmen, will be the main guest speaker. Former roles include founding partner of OJ
Kilkenny, the accountancy firm which represented many high profile entertainment artists including U2.

He also chaired the Irish Film Board and is involved with Special Olympics.This is the ideal opportunity for club members to influence the future of Camogie as the Association embarks on the formation of its Strategic Plan for 2009.

The day will provide a platform for members to express their hopes and ambitions for the most popular female sport in Ireland.The forum will include workshops on club development, recruiting and retaining volunteers, social inclusion, working within the Gaelic Games Family at club level and promoting your club through the local media. Other guest speakers include Mary O’Connor, Director of Camogie Development, Paudie Butler, National Hurling Director and Morgan Buckley of Atlantic Sports Management. Liz Howard, President of the Camogie Association said: “There has been significant development within the Camogie Association in recent times and it is imperative that our many wonderful club members are recognised and involved in shaping the direction we want to go as a vibrant Association. I encourage every club to come to Croke Park on Saturday the 11th of October and have your say in where we want to go…to the top.”

For further information on the Camogie Club Forum see www.camogie.ie or email clubforum@camogie.ie

Since the All Ireland Football Final the GAA has shown just what a broad church it is. In fact, going by recent coverage the GAA appeals to more people than ever. For instance for the local person there’s the ongoing club and parish rivalry; for the County fanatic theres the rivalry with the neighbouring shower of B*****ds up the road. For the man looking the international sporting dimension there’s Nickey’s great Australian folly. And, for political dinosaurs there is the cross border dimension. It is the sign of a truly innovative, forward looking and flexible institution that it can be all things to all men. Long may it continue.

Now there’s that Gregory Campbell. What a great Minister for Sport he is – he’s willing to tolerate abuse from his own side and the other – in fact Gregory Campbell is so open minded that he doesn’t mind who he offends. He knows all too well the trouble GAA clubs have encountered – the glass sprinkled on pitches, the graffiti, the abuse – but he has offered great encouragement and leadership. He has also identified a particular new angle on the GAA agenda which the rest of us were all too dumb to notice. Us morons.

Yes, in offering heartfelt and hearty congratulations Gregory set aside any anti-Tyrone bias he might have hailing from Derry (Ardmore I think would be his nearest club) and welcomed the success of Mickey Harte’s men unequivocally. Sez the bould Gregory:

“I passed on my best wishes to Co Tyrone GAA football team which obviously is a Northern Ireland team in their victory over Co Kerry GAA Team from the Republic of Ireland in the GAA football final. It is a factual position that Tyrone is a county in Northern Ireland and Kerry is a county in the Republic of Ireland . This year’s GAA final amounted to an ‘international’ event. In any international tournament involving a team from Northern Ireland competing with a team from another country, I normally support the team representing Northern Ireland.”

Note that Gregory religiously supports Raonaithe Glaschu, that well-known team from the ‘North’.

It is hope that in terms of reciprocation and as a mark of gratitude to Gregory for his open support for the Red Hands, that Tyrone fans will reciprocate and get behind Northern Ireland’s team in forthcoming matches as they too take on international opposition. Support, lads but not as we know it!!

CORK captured a fourth successive TG4 All-Ireland ladies football championship crown as Ulster champions Monaghan were put to the sword at Croke Park on Sunday.

Goal machine Valerie Mulcahy, sent off in the semi-final victory over Tyrone but cleared to play in the decider, bagged 3-2 as the Rebelettes defeated Monaghan by 14 points.

At half-time, just three points separated the sides, Cork leading by 1-8 to 0-8, but the magnificent Leesiders turned up the heat in the second half to ensure a senior ladies football-camogie double in 2008. The killer goal for Cork, Mulcahy’s second five minutes after half-time, was a much-debated effort as the Rockbán ace appeared to be in the square when she fisted Geraldine O’Flynn’s speculative delivery to the net.

Cork were also awarded two penalties during the game, both coolly converted by Mulcahy, and despite their obvious superiority, the winning margin flattered the victors. Monaghan, with forwards Catriona McConnell and Edel Byrne in good form, hung in doggedly in the first half but after recording an impressive semi-final victory over Monaghan, Cork proved a bridge too far.

Mulcahy provided the game’s opening score, a penalty in the third minute, following Christina Reilly’s foul on dual star Mary O’Connor and Monaghan trailed from that moment all the way to the finish. To their credit, the Farney girls did get back to within a point of their much-vaunted opponents on three separate occasions but inspired by Juliet Murphy at midfield, Cork held a three-point half-time advantage.

Mulcahy palmed home that disputed second goal five minutes into the second half to open up a 2-8 to 0-8 lead, a strike which effectively ended the Monaghan resistance. Any faint hopes of an unlikely revival were finally extinguished seven minutes later when substitute Ciara O’Sullivan goaled with her first touch of the game.

Another inspired managerial move was the introduction of Rhona Buckley, who scored two second half points, a clear indication of the strength in depth of this Cork squad. The remarkable Briege Corkery produced a fantastic diving block midway through the second half as a mean Cork defence looked to preserve a clean sheet.

Five minutes from the end, Mulcahy completed her hat-trick of goals when she netted a second penalty after the industrious Mary O’Connor was hauled down once again, this time by Aoife McAnespie.

Cork scorers: V Mulcahy 3-2 (2-0 pens, 0-1f), C O’Sullivan 1-0, J Murphy 0-3f, N Cleary, M O’Connor & R Buckley 0-2 each, A Murphy & A O’Shea 0-1 each.

Monaghan scorers: E Byrne 0-3, C McConnell 0-3 (1f), T McNally 0-2, I Kierans, N Kindlon (f) & C McAnespie 0-1 each.

CORK: E Harte; C Walsh, A Walsh, L Barrett; B Corkery, B Stack, G O’Flynn; J Murphy, N Kelly; N Cleary, M O’Connor, A Murphy; V Mulcahy, A O’Shea, D O’Reilly.

SUBS: R Buckley for C Walsh (29m), C O’Sullivan for O’Reilly (41m), R Buckley for A Murphy (48m), R O’Sullivan for O’Shea (54m), S O’Reilly for Cleary (55m).

MONAGHAN: L Martin; G McNally, S Courtney, C Reilly; A McAnespie, A Lennon, F Courtney; A Casey, I Kierans; C McConnell, N Kindlon, T McNally; C McAnespie, E Byrne, N Fahy.

SUBS: L Connolly for Lennon (44m), C Courtney for McConnell (48m), E McCarron for Fahy (51m), U McNally for Reilly (54m).

Ref: K Tighe (Dublin).