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Mayo Co Bores James Waldron, Sean Feeney with Johnno. Would you let these men in your dressing room? On second thoughts, could you keep them out? Now, ye’d think the Mayo Co Board would have enough to worry about with them unable to win All Irelands and all that. But no – they have to [...]

Begorrah and Bejasus, it’s Boylan the Leprechaun! Irish International Rules Manager, the highly respected Sean Boylan is nothin only a ‘leprechaun’ according to Aussie former manager Kevin Sheedy. Speaking in that diplomatic way that only Australian sportspeople can muster, Sheedy pulled no punches sledging the Irish manager a week ahead of the first bout in [...]

Unelectable at home – if she lived here, Sarah Palin would be a shoo-in for the Donegal Job Talking Balls has learned that Derry Co Board officials have been summoned to Washington DC to advise US election Officials on best practice for the forthcoming presidential elections. It understood that Donegal was not the first choice [...]

The Palm in Dubai – originally modelled on a sliotar by a hurling-mad Arab This week Resident Expert Ger Manas returns after a period away sampling the delights of the Gulf. Bad news for him is he might be going back. I came back there the other day to the wind and the coul. I’d [...]

Transportation for life – for eating all the pies Despite their claims to be the greatest sporting nation on Earth, fears are growing that in fact Australia is becoming a bunch of lardasses. Talking Balls research reveals that the nation of convicts, sheepstealers, sledgers, bush rangers and boomerangers has boosted its fizzy drink intake by [...]

Come a long way – moves afoot to bring back Old Style Playing Gear? The good lassies of the Camogie Association have invited folk in all units of the assoication to give their feeedback back on An Treoraí Oifigiúil. Now there’s asking for trouble. For the uninitiated, that is the Rulebook of the Camogie Association [...]

The goings on over the last year have made one particular coach ask not what he has done for his club but what his camogs have done for his blood pressure. It all started one evening in a local bar. Our man had made the near fatal mistake of agreeing to coach the club camogie [...]

The Old School Hurler celebrates every victory like it’s his last This article first appeared in the All Ireland Hurling Final programme. By request, we reproduce it here in full. The tale of the Returning Old School Hurler, like the story of the man who’d been abducted by aliens only to come back to earth, [...]

They come from a Land Down Under Dame Edna, Sydney Opera House, Steve Irwin, Kylie Minogue, big f***in kangaroos, Ricky Nixon, David Campese? What have they all got in common? Well, they’re Bloody Australians, that’s what. To celebrate our lads’ latest bushwhackin’ with those big hoors in their overtight tank tops, we’re giving away a [...]

The Gooch – no problem with his bodily fluids According to recent research carried out by Lucozade Sport, GAA players sweat more than them overpaid fancy dan poseurs in soccer. GAA players lose a dripping great 1.25 litres of sweat per match whereas the nancy-poofter-boys of soccer only lose a pathetic 1.1 litre. And GAA [...]