Ger Manas: Davy Fitz ‘Eff’ortless
Talking BallsThis week, Resident Expert Ger Manas reflects on Davy Fitz’s debut on YouTube with his teamtalk. Inspirational stuff or the usual half-time nonsense? Make up your own mind.
I see Davy Fitz has made a name for hisself in more ways than one now that he’s had one of his team talks posted up on the internet. I’ll tell you now, if anyone wants to come into my dressing room any given Sunday its surgery they’d be needin’ to get the video camera out of their hole if I caught them. They’d get a lesson in bad language the never knew existed.
The nephew was showing me the footage of Fitz in full flight and from what I see loads of people think this is all some sorta big deal. Well, to me the dressin’ room is an inner sanctum – what’s said in there between the coach and the players should stay there but if it doesn’t who gives a f***. I’d say though the fella that taped that would be in mortal danger of a serious boot in the balls if he gets caught.
I’ve been down at Croker with fellas who don’t really know the craic, and all the big chat is what this boy might have said or what they did at half time. I’d rather have a cool b*****d that could do open heart surgery no bother in the dressing room during half time than a man that can eff and blind and call players yella f***ers and fire things round the place. Sure, there’s a time to lose the plot but more often than not, in fact nearly every time if the work hasn’t been done on the training field then men can do what they like at half time it will make not a blind hate of difference. All ye can do is reinforce a few things, make a few tactical adjustments and from time to time some man will get up, clear the throat and say something that connects with fellas. Often times though – it’s just shite talk.
Fellas is brought up on a diet of listening to Al Pacino and his big life story at half time in thon film. If I started telling fellas my life story they’d be fast asleep and bored shitless a couple of minutes in. I started one night about some shite and our corner back sez “tell us the one again Ger about the Pakistani quantity surveyor on the site in London”. I took the cheeky bollix off for saying that but in retrospect I realised a bit of oul humour is hard to bate.
The nephew there is involved with an oul camogie team up in Ulster and they had a bit of a grudge match recently. Far whatever reason they had to replay an oul championship match. So anyway at half time the manager lets rip with a big load of balls about batin’ the opposition off the field – the usual stuff that had his blood pressure off the Richter. The tension was that thick ye could have cut it. He asks the captain to speak and she starts cranking it a bit higher: “Alright girls, these wans showed no respect for us the last day. They think they can come up here and beat us, well they can’t. Remember who you’re playin’ for – yourselves, each other, the managers, your family, all them supporters out there. Remember girls, passion, intensity, aggression. Let’s go out here and bate these ones out the gate. Lets trample all over them and rub their feds in the muck. . .”
The last line brought a bit of an oul pregnant pause. Feds? Surely she meant faces or heads, but not Fed. Everyone in the room looked at each other, ye coulda heard a pin drop, all wanted to bust out laughin’.Then, the manager says “Feds? Janie what’s a fed.”
Next thing the place erupted laughing. Maybe ye had to be there but I tell ye that would be funnier on the internet than Davy Fitz effin’ and blindin’ the bit out. It broke the tension and they won the match.
So if ye want to know what happens at half time, to be honest Davy Fitz is probably same as most other bollixes. The language wouldn’t that great, the sentiments might be coarse enough but it’s the work done in another place that will win the game.