Galvin - Remission for Good Behaviour
Talking Balls
Breaking news today that Kerry’s fiery captain Paul Galvin has had his sentence cut in half.
Galvin, in case you haven’t heard was suspended for six months for producing a 7mm cannon from his football shorts and wastin’ half the spectators during Kerry’s qualifier against Clare.
To gasps from onlookers, he then proceeded to scale the outside of the main stand at Fitzgerald Stadium, tossing handgrenades as he went into the section of the main stand housing the main Munster Council officials along with groups of disadvantaged schoolchildren from impoverished regions of Cork, Connemara and Africa.
A clearly deranged Galvin then took referee Paddy Russell hostage in the Ref’s changing room, demanding amongst other things, that Kerry be allowed in future to compete in the Ulster Championship; €105 in used banknotes to buy a pair of Puma King boots instead of the pair Adidas gave him free; a year’s supply of Powerade and five minutes with the lads that verbally abused him with a loudhailer during the Hogan Cup Final.
Since the match Paul Galvin has been holed up somewhere in deepest Kerry and even his teammates haven’t seen sight nor sound of him or so they say.
That hasn’t stopped the radio phone-ins and newspaper letters pages being jammed with outraged fans - half demanding the head and God knows what else of Paul Galvin; the other half calling for perspective and a bit of common sense.
All the talk has been that if Kerry get to the All Ireland Final , will the maverick skipper be allowed to play. The answer to that now is ‘Yes’. Will he lift Sam if Kerry win? ‘Possibly’. Will he actually get back on the team after a summer kicking his heels? ‘Who knows, possibly not’.
Please note that any resemblence to persons living or dead or indeed actual events is purely coincidental and no animals or referees were harmed in the writing of this article. No, not by Paul Galvin, Talking Balls or any other oul bollix.