Cul Green or Hot Air. Talking Balls Lets You Decide
Talking BallsThe Powers that Be and the ESB have announced a new scheme called Cul Green which aims to make Croke Park a carbon free stadium. In a special feature Talking Balls takes a look at what this might mean for the average GAA fan - you and I in other words. Is it really worth the paper it’s written on. Let’s investigate.
According to the official news release, it is estimated that fans travelling to games at the stadium produce carbon emissions of 15,000 tonnes a year. A total of 2.2 million people attended Croke Park last year. The new sustainability plan will reduce the environmental impact of their travel to and from the stadium.
Research has shown that much of the greenhouse gas emissions are due to over-consumption of pints of stout, washing down Abrakababra and other tasty pre match snacks sold the plethora of outlets located close to the ground.
It is estimated that Dublin fans can generate as much as 1000 extra tonnes of toxic fumes in the time slot between the official throw-in and their arrival on the Hill. This has been attributed to the extra two pints they skull in that time.
With the two mile exclusion due in place soon fans will have less opportunity for tay and sangwidges near the ground and are more likely to avail of the wind inducing outlets nearby.
The implications of carbon neutrality for hurling have also been addressed, with counties likely to be asked to ensure players reduce the number of hurls they bust during matches, thereby ensuring that less ash is required and in the process protecting the ancient Irish Ash forests.
Plans are also believed to be in place to harvest all the hot air emanating from the Sunday Game pundits area with Joe Brolly in particular believed to be a lucrative source of renewable energy. It is believed also that a lot of the shite Pat Spillane comes out with can be recycled through new waste management processes.
A special website, www.culgreen.ie, will be established within two months to allow fans participate in the Cúl Green initiative. They can log on and pledge how they will individually reduce their own carbon footprint. It is believed Croke Park’s decision not to stage the league finals at headquarters was not part of the green initative although a source did admit “the biggest problem is the fans themselves - their cars, the tickets they buy, the programmes they read, the food they consume with all the packaging etc. That’s not to mention all the manure and shite the culchies carry in on their shoes and wellies. We are seriously considering ways in which to reduce the volume of carbon generators, the easiest being to reduce the numbers of people in the ground at any one time.”
Plans are afoot to locate up to three wind turbines behind Hill 16 - and research is underway at an undisclosed location in Clare to determine the effect the turbines may have on the flight of a sliotar at that end of the ground.
The new project in the immediate term will cut Croke Park’s annual 4,500 tonnes carbon emissions output by more than two-thirds. It will establish a state of the art environmental-improvement programme covering the stadium’s electricity, waste and water management systems.