Send the Knucklegrinders Back to the Zoo
Talking BallsThis week resident expert Ger Manas is down on his luck. Not often you see the old man buckled, but he’s not bowed. The problem? Gobshitery, ignoramuses and the sorts of knucklegrinders that follow teams and worse - manage them.
Sometimes when you’re involved with a team it gets hard to see the woods from the trees. In the last week or so I’ve had me balls rooted good an’ hard, had them inflated and defleated again. Mebbe I’m just getting old but I’m finding some bits of takin’ me own teams just that wee bit harder to take than usual.
Last week we had course to play a hurlin’ match. I don’t mind good oul rough ‘n’ tumble hurling with boys in pullin’ for all their worth. Lads is lads and they generally does their best whenever they can. What sickens my shite is coaches and mentors shoutin’ from the sideline to ‘break him, hit that f***er, foul him, take him out.’ And I was sorry now to say I heard all of that last week from the mentors and supporters of one team. Ye’d be surprised now at some of the antics on the line, and some of the excuses. Last year in a game I was toul to ‘f**k away off back up there if you know what’s good for ye’ when I moved down the line to encourage our forwards - it was the other teams subs were at that. Did I move? Did I f**k.
It makes ye wonder tho’ - I’m as competitive as the next hoor but ye wonder about some of these people - what do they behave like in their own spare time? Are matches some sort of escape valve because plenty I know certainly lets the slurry out of the tank when they get near a pitch. An oul friend of mine was talking to me about how when he lived on a farm boys herdin’ cows knew where to give an oul brute a scalp and where not to, they needed to be encouraged but not hurt. He compared that to hurlin’ and reckoned in our day fellas and managers knew that but now it’s got lost from the game. There’s truth in that alrite. Encouraged not hurt.
Then there’s refs. I’ve seen hurlin’ and camogie refs runnin’ about this year, whistle blowin’ like a train conductor for over-carrying, throwin’ the ball up and catchin’ it, takin’ too long with frees, and even gettin the yella card out for lads let a bit of a ‘come on te f**k lads’ outta them.
Meanwhile what’s goin’ on round the field? Hoors is whaling off the ball, one minor player took out round the neck by some gobshite half the player he was. Another county man fouled eleven times in the first half and not so much as a tick. He then gets booked for usin’ the ‘f’ word. I watched a camogie game - same sort of shite going on, referee running about the starched drawers must have been killing her. Next thing one girl throws a hurley at another - she gives a free - no card - should have been sent off and banned. Fouls like taking the hand, pulling high, pulling low, pulling late - they need dealt with but aren’t.
Refs have a hard job to do but when they’re making a balls of it they get all uppity and fidgety - they can’t admit they make a mistake and then it’s easier blowin’ up stuff that’s trivial rather than taking the tough decisions and making the hard calls. That’s where they show they’re a proper referee and players respect that. Don’t book the man on the field for saying f**k. No-one can hear him - but deal with the manager and mentor stomping the line sounding off like he’s that f**ker Gordon Ramsey and telling fellas to take another man out or burst him or whatever. The whole crowd can hear him so he’s doin’ more harm than the players.
Look after the skilful player on the pitch - he’s the one the punters come to see - not the ape that’s running after him with the knuckles draggin’ along the ground. That hoor should be warned, warned again and then sent back to the zoo. I would kick his hole quare’n hard and have done.
I seen fellas on the line in the last week, they didn’t like their own son getting treatment but they were foaming at the gob screamin’ at their players to take some other man’s son out of the game. Is there air getting in here somewhere?
The brother-in-law saw me after a game and told me I was taking it all too seriously. And you know what? He was right.