Talking Balls Issue 44 - Well Informed Ignorance
Talking BallsThis week in Talking Balls we say well done to all the teams in the All Ireland Club series. The finals will be a battle of the veterans although some are more veteran than others.
If Birr can beat Portumna and Joe Canning what a day it will be for Brian Whelahan - father the manager, son on the subs bench
and him still fighting the good fight out the field. The Portumna lads, backboned by the Cannings will be up for it big style.
Meanwhile St Vincents the Dublin blueblood flowing across them pristine white shirts will be looking to knock the Rangers of Nemo off their perch. Nemo will be looking to put a bit of respect back in Cork GAA circles. Sure where else would you get stuff like it - fairytales, dreams come true, heartbreak and destruction, family’s bonded together on the field. Jaze tis great stuff - we’ve a tear in the eye now even thinkin’s about it. Bad luck especially now to Dunloy - one of the great club teams. It’s a shame they’ve never been able to land just one title.
Still more shenanigans up in Derry, this time Ger’s been listening when someone’s been talking and he doesn’t like what he hears.
UCD win the Ashbourne for the second time in a row in Belfast. Well done lads.
If you want to get your club on telly, contact TG4 and brush down yer Gaeilge. For everyone else there’s always Talking Balls.
Take Your Points. . .
Having thrown the toys out of the cot, Dublin and Meath appear to have got the result that they wanted when the CC ruled Cork would forfeit the points for the matches affected by the players’ strike
CCC ruled that Cork should lose points for the hurling and football league matches thereby neatly sidestepping the issue of whether they would have to get into a potentially messy wrangle with Dublin and Meath. Both teams churlish response to the inconvenience caused by the Cork strike was to state they couldn’t play the game at any date proposed by the CCC - irrespective of when that might be. The record book will show that by their actions they deprived players of a competitive inter-county match and they can dress that up however they want. This is the sort of amateurish bullshit that gives the GAA a bad name. Imagine in any other sport a team going on strike in the first place. Then imagine if Chelsea said they wouldn’t play a re-fixed game because they hadn’t a free time in their schedule. Imagine the governing body agreeing to it.
With the advent of lights and modern travel lads - it’s not like you need to leave two days early to get from Cork up to Parnell Park or Navan - these games could easily have been played. We’ve all come across this sort of jackoonery at club level - U-14 team managers rack up a stack of points by cashing in on other teams unable to field, or the referee doesn’t turn up.
Seamus McEneaney, never a man behind the bar when a choice word or two is called for fair emptied the tank on this one:
“I’m very disappointed that counties like Meath and Dublin, who are held in such esteem, would take points in these circumstances. Could they not offer to re-fix the games with Cork at their convenience, maybe even in midweek? Meath were due to have home venue anyway and Dublin should get it too so why couldn’t they play those games in midweek rather than having a training session? Who wants points if you don’t play for them?”
Armagh manager Peter McDonnell said his team would have agreed a rematch if their game had been affected. “It’s not about picking up points as if in a lottery. What happened in Cork was unfortunate but we’re all GAA people so there should be a degree of flexibility now that they’re back in the fold. From an Armagh perspective, I would not want points for a game we didn’t play. How much better off would we be in real terms by finishing higher up the table through points we didn’t earn on the pitch?”
Talking Balls salutes Kilkenny’s Martini attitude to their game with Cork - any time any place anywhere. But then who better than Brian Cody knows the value of competitive matches - whether behind doors in Nowlan Park or not - and an early season victory over the oul enemy. Sadly he won’t get it. If you’re from Dublin or Meath, remember, Playing is only Part of It.
Prenty says Plenty
Connacht Council Secretary John Prenty has plenty to say for himself these days whether the subject is the Railway Cup or counties leasing hurlers to weaker counties - ‘fly-by-nights’ as he calls them.
Definitely not a fan of the Inter-pro series Prenty says:
“Is there a best time of the year to play? Does anybody care? We are told that the players are anxious to have the series retained but there is no great evidence to show that if they want it retained, they want to play in it,” Prenty said. 2008 will again see the debate as to when it should be played. We have seen the paltry crowd that attended the finals when even the lure of free tickets could not encourage people to attend. It is time we took a final decision on its health or demise!”
Moving on to the system whereby hurlers deemed surplus to requirements in their own county can play for another to ply their trade, Prenty said:
“These fly-by-nights are being entertained under the tenuous logic that they will promote the game at inter-county level. How can a player who is just passing through - who has no contact with a club within a county - be more valuable than a young player who has been nurtured by his club, who has an ambition to play for his county? This player has to look on as he sees one third of his county team populated by players with no allegiance to the county they play for.”
This is all fine and dandy except their are a number of high profile inter-county players that have little allegiance to the county
they play for - there loyalty is to No 1 - themselves.”
Taking the Mickey
Former Dublin free-taker Mossy Quinn has hailed the input of St Vincents manager, who of course masterminded their defeat of Club Championship specialists the Ranger of Crossmaglen.
Ahead of his side’s All-Ireland SFC club semi-final tie with Crossmaglen Rangers, St. Vincent’s (Dublin) captain Tomas Quinn paid tribute to Saints’ manager Mickey Whelan.
“He’s phenomenal. I don’t know what age he is. He’s probably about 109 at this stage. . . he’s absolutely incredible, his enthusiasm, everything he brings . . . . he’s non-stop and always on the go. He has a wonderful way of dealing with players, it’s unique. The young lads just respond to him. He’d get them to do anything for him. His preparation has been faultless. He has us peaking at the right times. Some days you think you might need to do a certain type of work but you trust Mickey.”
Earlier in the season, when St Vincent’s were making waves in Dublin the meeja recounted how Whelan arrived home one evening to find the house deserted - his wife and children had gone off somewhere for the evening without telling him. The reason became clear soon enough when the doorbell rang, door opened to reveal Whelan’s old friend Kevin Heffernan standing there. Heffo had come around to talk Mickey back into the St Vincent’s position and knew the job would be easier if there was no-one else about the house. Suffice it to say the trip was successful and after e tearful reunion with Heffo on the sideline after the Dublin Championship was won, Whelan now leads his charges into an All Ireland against the Rangers of Nemo. Who’s to say there won’t be more tears of joy on the sideline at Croker on St Patrick’s Day.
Laois Need Old Guards to Get out of Gaol
The Laois footballers have been hit with a series of high profile retirements in recent months - Fergal Byron, Joe Higgins, Gary Kavanagh, Tom Kelly, Chris Conway and Kevin Fitzpatrick have all jacked in the inter-county game. But the natives are restless. . .
Delegates at the Laois county board called on the executive to try and encourage the sextet to reconsider their decision. Speaking a few weeks back when the news broke manager Liam Kearns paid tribute saying:
“It is a serious blow to Laois. We have lost some experienced players like Chris Conway, Fergal Byron and Gary Kavanagh. We (Laois) were a side in transition but now we are a side in a serious transition.
“I want to make it clear that there was no falling out with the management. Tom (Kelly) just lost the appetite for it and he didn’t want to be giving a half hearted effort. Joe (Higgins) is doing a bit of boxing and he is training his sons and he has the business also,” said Kearns
Interestingly for watchers of the game, Joe Higgins and Tom Kelly were among the group of Laois Minors that defeated Tyrone in the All Ireland Minor Final in 1997. Both subsequently won All Stars. Of four classy minor teams in the mid nineties - 1995 to 1998 - three of which contested All Ireland Finals, only seven players remain in action with the Laois senior set up. Added to the retirement of Stephen O’Neill from the Tyrone squad it points alarmingly at the shortened timespan for an intercounty player in the current era.
Former county board chairman and current Leinster Council delegate Dick Miller was implicitly critical of the retirees, expressing his worry that the younger players might struggle without a helping hand oin the shoulder.
“It’s not fair on the young lads, it’s not fair on the John O’Loughlins, and they need the help of the older lads. We see know how valuable these players are and the public and everyone should get behind them.”
Dick is maybe being one and missing the point. It is possibly precisely because there is so much expectation on these lads that they are jacking it in. As noted flamboyant Dublin corner boy Oscar Wilde maybe said, to lose one is unfortunate, two careless. . . but six?
Holders Not Interested in Tommy Cooper
Wicklow are set to stand up for the rights of small counties by tabling a motion to ask that everyone is allowed back into the Qualifiers rather than condemning the weaker counties to the Tommy Cooper Cup.
The original championship format produced some original away trips to places never visited before but the recent changes mean Division 4 teams are outcasts from life’s feast and must instead compete for the much maligned Tommy Murphy.
Wicklow secretary Michael Murphy says: “The qualifiers were originally set up to help the so-called weaker counties and give them a second chance but that is not now the case. We have emailed all counties asking for their support and have received positive replies so far.”
Given that club competitions are organised on the basis of senior, intermediate and junior gradings, it is entirely consistent that senior inter-county championships should be graded. Likewise the hurling championships are similarly graded into three tiers which, broadly speaking work. The irony is that players and coaches can’t seem to accept the logic of playing at their grade and indeed the hoots of derision among Derry players when they won the Nicky Rackard was deafening - almost as notable was their failure to take the Christy Ring competition seriously last year.
Wicklow’s chances of success must be pretty low given all the hype surrounding player burnout and fixture congestion.
Attention Clubs: Get Your Bollixes onto TG4
Every club has a character or two - mebbe the big bollix that smokes at half time, the grumpy hoor of a secretary that puts two or three dots on his ‘i’s and multiple crosses on his ‘t’s. This is your chance to get them on the telly,
We’re putting this message out on behalf of those good people in TG4. Sometimes we can’t understand what they’re on about but most of the time they’re dead on.
TG4 is offering clubs across the country a chance to get their news out live on air! Seó Spóirt, the channel’s live discussion show is broadcast every Friday at 8:30 pm. TG4 has a slot on the programme aimed at helping clubs get their news out to a national audience.
If you’ve got a fundraiser going, are looking for a new manager, or have a new initiative that makes for a novel story, drop a line to club@tg4.ie with all the details. Remember to leave a name and contact details.
Also, if you’ve got some footage of your club in action, let us know and we can arrange to have some of it broadcast.
Remember, it’s TV, so keep it interesting. You get to let people know your club news, and we get to stay in touch with the grassroots of the GAA.
Seó Spóirt is presented by Micheál Ó Domhnaill, with discussion from resident panellist Seán Bán Breathnach, plus a variety of weekly guests and features. We cover the weekend’s action, GAA, rugby, and other stories as they break. Seó Spóirt, every Friday, at 8:30 pm on TG4.
So there ye go lads, maximum exposure on national tv, agus it as gaeilge too le do thuil.
UCD Girls Make it a Twosome
The camogs of UCD made it a nice pair at Casement Park in Belfast. They gave WIT a fair enough hammering in lifting the intervarsity Ashbourne Cup to record an impressive twin cup success.
There was probably plenty of typical camog humour at the Ashbourne over the weekend and god help any innocent male (or female) who felt like tacklin’ any of them. But the images that will stick in the mind are the flower of Irish womanhood striding purposefully about the fields, fit enough we suppose but still wobbly enough to interest the lads; the girlish cries of ‘lads, lads, lads. . .’ echoing round the fields.
Some of the squads were, we hear, heading back down south after Sunday night’s festivities - the roadtrip from hell - thirty drunken camogs and one bus driver. Of course not all of them would have actually been on the same bus but we’ll park that one for now.
If the Physio’s Fit, Use it
This week resident expert Ger Manas reflects on the problems cause when officialdom get their priorities wrong. When winning is the only part of it someone needs to say enough.
I was talking to a fella from up in Derry there and he was tellin’ me that the county board’s medical bill for the last year was over four hundred grand. Now either the Derry fellas are the biggest shower of oul women ye ever seen or the medics are going mad over prescribin’ and diagnosin. Apparently sez the lad I was chattin to, the majority of the money is related to the physio and therapy side of things with fellas goin’ off for scans and what not. The doctoring fellas cost near enough nahin - sounds rare enough set up.
Must be every time they get off their hole they strain somethin’ and then need to go and get their arse scanned. F***in scan me arse - tell ye I’d be strainin’ mesel tryin to boot them in the hole the big hoors. If ye don’t know ye have a hamstring or a groin ye can’t hurt it - that’s my view and ye can like it or not. I see Paudie Se the bollix said at the weekend that if you have physios about the place fellas will use them whereas otherwise they would just get on with it. He’s right about that. I remember the wife left a load of them wipe things in our bog - I would never have known what they are but ‘n’ damnit I was sittin thunder and I spied these things and thought to mesel jaze must try them yokes, see what they’re about. Rare enough sensation round ye right nuff. Me point is that if they weren’t sittin’ there I would never have even knew they existed. Next thing the wife’s givin’ out cos they were all used up.
Now that Seamus McCloy fella up there is a hard nosed enough hoor of a business man - I heard last week that he tould the minor hurlers’ manager that they couldn’t have tracksuits for the season and had to back down afterwards - toul the manager fella they were a waste of money cos they weren’t getting past Antrim anyway. Must annoy a man with that attitude that the Derry U21 hurlers were the last team in the county to win an Ulster title. Havin’ been toul often enough what he’s like I was a wee bit f***in shocked now to tell ye the truth that he hasn’t come into the physio room like Jasus himself into the temple and roaded the whole lot of them. Ye can just see that big galoot Kevin McCloy lyin’ up thunder on the physio table havin’ a chat with big Muldoon on the bench beside him and them lovin it. Next thing McCloy arrives in - ‘get up te f*** - younsuns lyin’ up here are costin’ us a fortune. Out there and do ten laps or f*** off home.’ Jaze I’d say McCloy and Muldoon would shift faster than they do out on the field. It’s no wonder the young lads were toul no tracksuits if the money’s all spent on them MRI scans. Someone should scan these boys heads and see if there’s anything in there other than maybe an oul acorn rattlin’ round.
Next thing I hear too is that the Derry camogie team got put out of Owenbeg and were toul they couldn’t use it any more unless they paid. Apparently they were well looked after up there, but sure them women are half mad from what I hear - there’s a load of fellas up in the Glens still needin’ counsellin’ after their team bondin’ weekend last year. They reckon they would tackle a few of the Derry wimmin, there was men down from the glens hadn’t been seen in years thought they might hook up with some yoke from Bellaghy or Castledawson or Lavey - them sorts of places - with a view to romance and marriage. All in aid of expanding the jean pull you understand?. These mountainy men soon realised they were well out of their depth. The Derry camogs out culchied them, outsmarted them, out drank them and outran them - well one or two did - the rest lagged a bit behind and nearly got caught up as stragglers. The best chat up line from the Glensmen was ‘what size of stick youz girls use?’ Anyway the poor oul camogs are travelling about the county now like yer man forty coats in wanderly wagon. Wonderin’ where to go and who wants them. They haven’t done as much travelling since they were on the beer after the All Ireland last year.
It’s funny how the GAA has a loads of people in it with big ideas about themselves. I’m sure there’s people there in Derry think that’s the right thing to be at - stopping ones using Owenbeg - the wimmins footballers get to use it no problem I hear. I think that folks with airs and graces should head off to play rugby or horsejumpin’ or somethin’. Ye get a fair bit of it in camogie and hurling folks think the Ulster teams aren’t worth a shite and they make no effort to hide their attitude - that’s the pity - they’ve two arms to legs and a heartbeat like the rest of us. As the man says for years in the North ye couldn’t even carry a hurley in places whereas in Cork and Tipp and the likes them boys can pull away to their heart’s content and they were happy doin it. Same as the girls.
Funny then these folks with big heads, big ideas - they seem to have forgotten where they come from. I see one of the managers was saying during the Cork carry on that these games is given to us in trust and it’s up to us to look after them and pass them on. Well, with some of the fellas coming and going over the years in all the time I’ve been workin’ at these games - ye have to wonder where they come from and what they’re playin at. They can organise nathin’ but are prepared to criticise other people and stick their big oar in where it’s neither needed or wanted. That’s the pity because that’s what drives the dacent folks away. When it starts makin’ life difficult for fellas and girls lookin’ to just play the games and avoid all the crap that’s when it gets to me and at that stage ye have to say stop.